On The Road Again

I woke up this morning, not really looking forward to the goodbyes that were going to have to be said in the next couple of hours. I was feeling a little down (ok... very down) and then I realized that we would be driving right by the Albertville Outlet Mall. I had something to look forward to... a little therapeutic shopping. :-) I think that will be the key to getting thru this ordeal, is looking for the small stuff that can make us smile a little and before we know it, we will be at the end looking back, realizing how far we have come.

So back to today, I sat the kids down, showed them how I had pictures of them loaded on my digital picture frame to take with me, in case I was scheduled for surgery right away, I would have pictures of them to look at when I was missing them. We had fun looking at the pictures and then I kind of explained what we think would be happening at the doctors and what to expect when we got home. I could tell my oldest son was worried but was trying to mask it by being silly, so when I asked him if he had any questions before we left and he said yes, I was bracing myself for a tough discussion. He asked, "Mom, do you know where my Star Wars figurine is?". Yup, I can answer that question!

I really struggle with how much to tell the kids about what is going on, but every time we sit down for a conversation both my husband and I feel led to be as honest as we can and let them ask the questions they want to ask. I just hope this is right. I guess there really isn't an easy way or a right way to deal with "Mommy Has Cancer".

So we said our goodbyes, and yes, there were a few tears and it was sad. But what I realize at the end of the day, is that the reason it was so sad, was because we are so blessed. Yes, I am sad that I have to leave my four precious children behind, but I can be happy (and thankful) that I have them to come back to! So when I return, instead of shopping therapy, I can have some kid therapy.