Tuesday, January 5, 2010

December 17th, 2009

Have you ever had the wind knocked out of you? Where you feel every last ounce of air leave your lungs? And have you ever noticed how the moment between having the air knocked out of you to the moment that you start inhaling your next breath seems to last forever?

Well, on this day, I had every ounce of emotional wind knocked out of me. I took my two year old to his inguinal hernia repair pre-op appointment and at the end, my doctor asked me to sit down, so we could discuss my test results. Sure... No big deal, I thought... I'm pretty sure they'd found a cyst... we'll pick a date to aspirate... no big deal.

"I'm concerned with what your test results show. Things don't look good in there and we need to get whatever you have growing in there out."

"What do you mean by not good? Do you think it is cancer?"

"Yes, I do."

All the air in my emotional being whooshed away and this is that never ending moment. I'm still trying to fully breath again...

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