Monday, January 16, 2012

"We Tell The Truth. We Do Not Flinch"

My husband and I have begun watching episodes of "Bones" on Netflix in the evening, before we go to bed.  This is great for curbing late night snacking, as after watching most of these episodes, my appetite has totally been destroyed.  If you've seen this show, you know exactly what I mean.  The episode we watched last night ("The Girl in the Fridge"), was not as intriguing as most we have watched, but nonetheless the topic of not being sold out and diligently portraying the truth stuck out vividly.  Temperance, one of the main characters, was testifying in a murder trial.  She used some powerful lines when speaking with one of her colleagues about a very dangerous situation they had been in and how that situation should be dealt with.  The lines were, "We tell the truth.  We do not flinch.".

It's hard to be real and truthful when life brings you to places that previously only existed in your worst night mirrors.  We have been taught, be it through people squirming when we occasionally burst out in honesty, or by watching role models put on a good face when we know things aren't good, to cover up the truth if it may make someone uncomfortable.  Telling the truth may sound easier, but when push comes to shove, we tend to "flinch".  I've discovered some heroes in my breast cancer journey who tell the truth, and certainly do not flinch.

These heroes are the models portrayed in The SCAR Project:  Breast Cancer Is Not A Pink Ribbon, produced by photographer David Jay.  When I say models, I'm sure your mind goes straight to scantily clad barbie-like women, starring seductively at the camera.  While these models are scantily clad and starring at the camera, the reasons they are presented this way is to inform.  Their bodies, though scantily clad, are heavily covered in the scars that are left behind after breast cancer treatment.  Their stares tell a story of pain, fear and determination.  These are young women who have been treated for breast cancer and are brave enough to tell their story with absolutely no words.  And what a story they tell.  I must warn you though.  These stories are not for everyone.  Certainly not children, and certainly not people who want to keep believing that breast cancer is pretty, pink, and oh so curable.

My "favorite" picture in the project is one of a young woman with very short hair, tears streaming down her face, mastectomy scars splayed across her irradiated reconstructed chest.  You can see the world of breast cancer in her eyes and spread across her body.  But, for me, what stands out above all the pain and turmoil is the essence of true beauty.  This isn't the beauty of her hair, eyes or reconstructed chest, but a beauty which radiates from within... the beauty of survival.  She IS beautiful and cancer didn't take that away.  I think she should be the "new" pink ribbon, as she is all aspects of breast cancer rolled into one honest "beautiful" picture.

Breast cancer is not a ribbon, all pretty and pink.  Breast cancer is surgery, chemotherapy, radiation, medication, pain and fear.  Survival is letting that beauty, that inner strength and determination shine through, despite wearing reminders of the horrible disease on your body and the mental reality that one day this horrible disease may rear its ugly head again. 

"We tell the truth.  We do not flinch."