Saturday, August 21, 2010

What a difference a week can make...

A week ago today, I endured an eight hour road trip across the state with my husband and four kids, post surgery. The kids did awesome on the way home from Rochester. Our youngest never even left her car seat, and  our next oldest did only for a diaper change. They were very patient. I experienced bad motion sickness during the trip and ended up getting sick a few times on the way home. Every time I threw up my three year old would shout from the back "Momma puke?" and my older kids were so impressed that my throw up didn't stink... I guess I'm talented? :-)

Surgery went great. My surgeon said I was his easiest patient of the day and everything sounded like it went textbook. Thankfully, we didn't have to be at the hospital very early (8:00 a.m.) and we had a while to wait before they took me back for surgery (I think it was 10:30). I didn't wear my owl scarf (see previous blog), as I wasn't feeling very humorous that day... too nervous. There was only one point where I'd wished I had worn it. My anesthesiologist's name was Dr. Bacon and he pointed out I could remember his name by looking at the pictures of bacon which were on his scrub hat. At that time, I was wishing I could say, "And you can remember what procedure I'm having done by looking at my hat."

Speaking of my anesthesiologist, he had some great drugs, but I've never felt so much pain from an injection. As he injected the drug in my I.V. to put me to sleep, he said, "Now, some people say this stings a little..." and at that exact moment I felt this intense burning sensation spread from my I.V., up my arm and across about half of my body, before I was out. I still remember arching my body, clenching my fist and trying to breath thru the pain before the world went black.

When I came too, I just remember thrashing my legs in the bed from the pain and vocalizing that I was in pain over and over again. I remember hearing a nurse's voice tell me to hang in there as she was injecting my I.V. with some pain meds. I think I remember her giving me two injections before I could settle my body.

They transported me to my room, where they began giving me hourly doses of morphine. I think it was after the second dose, the nurse noticed a rash spread from my I.V. site. She deduced it must have been a reaction to the morphine. She was going to give me intravenous Benadryl, until I told her the issues I'd had with that during chemotherapy. I told her that my oncologist had had better luck with small doses of oral Benadryl. So she tried that, and within about 20-30 minutes I started to get more of a redness in face and sort of a panicky feeling (just like before I reacted to the intravenous Benadryl during chemotherapy), but it passed. I soon asked for more pain meds, so they decided to try Phentenol (sp?). It took the pain away, and the next hour the nurse gave me another dose. As I started relaxing and started to dose off, my O2 saturation monitor started going off. My O2 saturation had dropped significantly. I started feeling like my throat was beginning to close in, and my rash started spreading. More Benedryl, which pretty much made me super itchy and rashy all down my body. The decided they were going to have to cut me off the intravenous pain meds, as it was too risky considering how my body was reacting to them.

By this time, I had to pee... pretty bad. So the nurse and my husband tried to help me get out of bed, so I could go use the bathroom. I no sooner got the top half of my body upright, then I knew there was no way I was leaving that bed. I was in so much pain, I was sweating profusely and could hardly talk. So my option at that point was a bed pan... how humiliating... but not as humiliating as still managing to pee all over the sheets while trying to use the bed pan, which is what I managed to do. So now the nurse had to change sheets. I have no idea how long it took them to change sheets, but it felt like an eternity of rolling me from side to side... I was in so much pain I could not make a noise. I felt like I was in a torture chamber...it was horrible, but eventually, it did end. By this time, we were way behind on pain meds and the pain was bad. They gave me a dose of oral oxycodone, and an intravenous anti-anxiety med (I was pretty upset at this point), and I soon fell asleep. They kept me on a regular schedule of oral pain meds thru the night, and by morning I felt much better. I could finally slowly make my way to the restroom (thank goodness). And by mid-morning they had begun the process to check me out of the hospital. I was out by noon, I think. I went to my brother's place and rested for the remainder of the day and that night. And then we started our long trip home last Saturday.

It is amazing how much the human body can heal and recover in so little time. I could feel my body turn the corner by Tuesday evening and actually start feeling better. By Friday, I was off my prescription pain meds and only taking Ibuprofen as needed.

I go back to Mayo Clinic in September for a recheck and my first reconstruction expansion. It sounds like after that, my expansions can be done locally, which will be nice.

Monday, August 9, 2010

Humor... Getting Ready For The Next Step

Anyone who has been following my blog at all or knows me in person, knows I have a sense of humor, even if it is peculiar at certain times. I have used humor to brighten the bad times, break the tension of uncomfortable moments, and to enjoy the good times more throughly. A lot of times if you can't laugh, you'll cry, and frankly, laughing is just a lot more fun (and I think it burns more calories :-) ).

I've been spending the day packing for our trip down to Rochester for the first reconstructive surgery. Since I have very little hair, part of packing also includes packing hats and scarves to wear while I'm away. While packing this morning, I came across a scarf someone gifted to me... it is really kind of cute.... pink with owls on it. Maybe it's because I had breast cancer that I have breasts on the brain, but every time I see this scarf I chuckle, because all I can think is "hooters"... and well, I digress. While packing, I was imagining myself wearing this owl covered scarf on my bald head while being wheeled off to surgery all the while cracking jokes about my "hooters". As much as I'd like to use humor to calm my nerves before surgery, I figured I'd better leave the owl scarf behind... and just deal with my nerves some other way. Plus I'm sure they'll have me on some pretty strong medication and I'd hate to say something super embarrassing... :-).

Sunday, August 8, 2010

FYI

Just so you know, I was wrong about the Tamoxifen reducing the hormones in my body (as I stated in my last blog entry). I've been doing some more reading on it, and Tamoxifen actually binds to the cancer cells to prevent those cancer cells from feeding on my hormones. So my body should be making about the same amount of hormones, but the cancer just isn't using the hormones to grow. Why Tamoxifen can cause menopause symptoms, I don't know... maybe it binds to other cells too to prevent hormone absorption? I'm not sure...

Anyway, here is a site I've found very informative and useful for learning about different chemotherapy and cancer related drugs. It is www.chemocare.com. I've found the information fairly straight forward and and easy to understand.

Friday, August 6, 2010

Done with Chemotherapy

July 16th was my last dose of chemo, but none of us realized at the time that it was my last dose. My last dose was actually scheduled for July 23rd, but was canceled due to increased neuropathy I had experience since my July 16th dose. My Oncologist wanted to visit with me to decide if we would do that last dose of chemo at a later date. I saw my Oncologist last Friday (July 30th), and after chatting, he agreed with what my husband and I had already decided was best for us... we are done... the risk of developing permanent neuropathy is just not worth one more dose of chemotherapy.

During the same visit with my Oncologist, he also gave me permission to switch my Herceptin to once every three weeks, instead of every week. I was almost more excited about this then being done with chemo... doctoring every week is growing very old. This week is my first week since mid-March that I have not had to spend some portion of my week at a medical facility being poked with a needle. I'm enjoying my needle free vacation!

Unfortunately, I will soon become reacquainted with needles (and other painful things) next week, as I will be having my initial reconstructive surgery to start the process of repairing the disfigurement that was done to my body to get rid of the cancer. This will be a long process, starting with surgery, and then involving periodical (about every couple of weeks) injections to stretch the muscles of my chest, and ending with another surgery. I believe the whole process will take 6 months to a year, depending on how frequently and how far we want to stretch the muscles.

I started a new medication this past week... Tamoxifen. This pill reduces the hormones in my body, which since some of my cancer was feeding off hormones, is a good thing. It does have some possible unpleasant side effects. I haven't been on the pill long enough to tell which, if any of the side effects I'll have.

On a good note, my hair is definitely starting to grow back. I'm assuming it will be months before my hair will be thick enough and long enough to go with out a head cover... I will be anxiously awaiting that day. But for now, I have a sparse cover of 1/2 inch to 1 inch long peach fuzz like hair covering most of my head... certainly not stylish or functional, but there!